It doesn't take a genius to figure out my political affiliation.
If you can tolerate more than a five-minute conversation with me about almost any topic then you clearly possess an epic level of patience and understanding rarely seen in sentient lifeforms; I mean, I am generally a likable guy (no... really), but when I get going on a topic that I have strong opinions about I swear that I could goad Gandhi into taking a swing at me.
But, that's not my point.
My point is that if you have met me face-to-face then I am pretty confident that you can accurately identify which party I side with And if you read almost anything that I write then you can gain additional help through the trail of (not so) subtle hints that I leave. Let's tally up some of the hints that you can quickly and easily glean from my writing:
- I like meat
- I like the opposite sex
- I hate almost everyone
Financial
I like money.
More specifically I like my money and would like to, if at all possible, actually keep some of it for me and my family. I worked very hard for it, and from where I sit it looks like many of the people on the receiving end of these government hand-out programs... did not.
I don't mind that some of my money helps people that really need it but I DO mind that quite a bit of it goes to help a bunch of lazy asshats who can work, but choose not to. I am sorry, but I do not believe it is a good idea to hurl money at masses of people in the hopes that some of it sticks to those that actually need it.
So, to those that believe it is our social responsibility to give our excess wealth to those that need it I say "Keep your grubby hands out of my wallet... commies".
Healthcare
Call me crazy, but I don't like paying the healthcare bill for people who chain-smoke while drinking beer and eating pork-rinds. If these people are not smart enough to figure out that these things are bad for them, then they simply need to be carried along by the process of natural selection.
For smoking in particular you simply cannot argue that anyone is being mislead here. I was just in Penn Station buying a drink at a newsstand and there were three copies of the following sign prominently displayed:
This is a vendor who makes a significant income from the sale of cigarettes and they are basically saying "Please, for the love of GOD don't buy these!". At this point, if anyone smokes and is surprised by the fact that they have health problems, then I think their doctor should be authorized to euthanize them on the spot and divvy up their healthy organs to anyone who will either treat them with respect or eat them.
Face it folks, you just can't cure stupid people by offering them a better healthcare plan. We should probably consider spending less money on emergency angioplasty for retards that have done nothing but drink bacon-grease for the last 10 years of their miserable lives and maybe focus more energy on...
Education
I send my kids to Catholic school because, despite the fact that I, and millions of other taxpayers, dump a significant amount of money into the public school system... it sucks.
Also, it's important to point out that I am not saying there aren't any good public schools. On the contrary, there are quite a few really excellent public schools, but a good rule of thumb is:
"If you can afford to live in a neighborhood, then the school there sucks. The school district next to yours is nice; all the kids in that one will grow up to be CEOs of multi-billion-dollar international companies. But you would have to sell one of your kids just to be able to rent a room in the servants wing of the smallest mansion in that town."(you need a big thumb for this rule)
I get especially worked up when I hear a school district threaten to fire teachers if the latest insane budget is not passed. But, when I see that they intend fire these teachers despite the fact that all of the sports programs are still intact it makes me want to find those responsible and back my car over their testicles.
I don't think all murderers should be put to death.
I think they should be forced to fight in bracketed, gladiator-style battles to the death. These competitions could be televised because I am certain they would cause you average Nielsen family to have an orgasm, and could rake in enough advertising dollars to pay for the deadbeats that didn't commit crimes bad enough to justify death, but just bad enough to justify living off our tax dollars for the rest of their worthless lives.
Oh, and the ultimate winner of the competition each year should be rewarded with a nice hot meal... then be put to death.
I think we could fill the lower ranks of the contestants with...
Illegal Immigrants
I think that entering a premises illegally, typically referred to as trespassing, should be a punishable offense. I think that the legal inhabitants of the premises should be allowed to make the trespassers leave or, at the very least, should not be required to offer the trespasser a warm bed and a ride home. The label "Illegal Immigrant", which is a very accurate one, has the word "Illegal" in it. The fact that there is any confusion on this topic is beyond comprehension.
I don't want to hear any sob-stories about this country being built upon the backs of it's immigrants, or about the crappy jobs they are doing for pennies. Bottom line... What they are doing is illegal; kick them out, or change the law, pick one you mewling liberals.
Not that I can blame them for coming here, since it's hot as hell in Mexico.
<lame segue>Speaking of hot...</lame segue>
You tree-huggers need to stop referring to your futile campaign as an initiative to "Save the Earth" since I can assure you that this planet does not need "saving" from the likes of us; This planet has weathered far worse than us, and will long outlive you, your Prius, your BPA-free drinking bottle and your non-bio-degradable, reusable 99-cent grocery bags that have the carbon-footprint of a hundred regular plastic bags but rip after three uses.
Ok, I think that about covers it. I have many more opinions, of course, but I need to keep them carefully guarded. Some of them would give the average Democrat a severe migraine, and make a Liberal's head explode upon reading so I will keep them to myself.
...for now. :)
Don't you drink and sometimes take a bath in bacon grease?
Of course, but I pay for my own healthcare.
My bad choices affect me, not every taxpayer.